Kissing someone that wasn't you was one of the worst feelings. It felt so empty, there was nothing there. Nothing comforting about it. Nothing familiar. Just emptiness. Sure he was attractive, sure it felt nice to have someone seemingly want me, but kissing him was shit and there is no other way to describe it.
I went for a swim to clear my head this morning. I honestly love being in the water. Swimming makes me feel powerful. My limbs know what to do, I suit the pool as if I was born there. Nothing feels out of place, nothing feels not quite right. All I have to concentrate on is going forewards. It is only when I realises that going up and down the lanes is getting me nowhere, that I pull myself out and leave.
I can't help feel like it is all over for me already, and I haven't even reached 20 yet.
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